Sunday, August 3, 2014

Ten Things: Guardian of the Galaxy

Hey, remember when going to the movies in the summer was supposed to be fun?  Well, Marvel sure does, and they've decided to take the rest of us along for the ride with Guardians of the Galaxy.  It's actually quite remarkable what Marvel Studios has accomplished here; they've taken one of the most obscure and bizarre hero teams in the Marvel Universe and turned it into one of the best Marvel movies since The Avengers.  Heck, I'm ready to see it again right now, which I haven't done since Pacific Rim.  If you haven't seen it yet, drop what you're doing and go now.

If you have seen it, stick around and see ten things I didn't like about my favorite movie of the year so far:

1.  For a movie that is probably the single funniest Marvel movie since the first Iron Man, it sure does open on quite the downer.  No fair making me choke up before the five minute mark, Marvel!

2.  The soundtrack is too catchy for it's own good.  Yeah, I downloaded it on iTunes as soon as I got back and have listened to it at least four times since.  What of it?

3.  It's never adequately explained why Peter Quill hasn't gone back to Earth in the twenty-odd years since his abduction.  Especially since, you know, he has a spaceship..

4.  Rocket Raccoon and Groot have managed to make their big-screen debuts before Wonder Woman.  That isn't to say that the characters aren't awesome--because they are.  It's just that a talking raccoon with a machine gun and a sentient tree appeared on screen before the single most recognizable female superhero in history.  Think about that.

5.  Zoe Saldana's Gamora is the weakest link in the cast.  She isn't terrible, or even bad, really.  It's just that out of all the likable and memorable main characters, she makes the smallest impression.

6.  Ronan is a pretty bland villain.  I did dig the face paint, though.

7.  Batista somehow manages to turn in a performance that is simultaneously terrible and brilliant.  I don't ever want to see him in a movie playing anything other than Drax the Destroyer, but damn does Drax steal every scene.

8.  The Collector has a much smaller role than his cameo in Thor: The Dark World's mid-credit scene led me to believe.

9.  The movie doesn't shed any light on Thanos other than he's evil, he subcontracts to terrible would-be conquerors, and he wants the Infinity Stones.  Everyone is clearly scared of the guy, but they haven't shown us why yet.  Plus, most people in the audience didn't know who he was because they still walk out of Marvel movies before the end-credits scene!  Come on, people!  It's been almost a decade!  You should know better by now.

10.  Howard the Duck is officially part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.  And after this, I would totally watch a Howard the Duck movie starring the voice of Seth Green.

No comments:

Post a Comment