Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Ten Things: Pacific Rim

I'm not going to lie: Pacific Rim is easily my favorite movie so far this year, with disclaimer that I haven't seen Gravity yet and Thor: The Dark World and The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug have yet to be released.  But even if Gravity turns out to be the best movie I see this year, Pacific Rim will still hold a special place in my heart.  Not only is it a Kaiju movie--and I love me some Kaiju movies--it's a Kaiju movie made with a big budget by Guillermo del Toro.  Plus, it's fun.  Indeed, Pacific Rim was easily the most fun I've had watching a movie since The Avengers.  If you don't already own it on Blu-ray, do so.

But Pacific Rim is by no means perfect, so here are ten things that I didn't like about it.

1.  There isn't enough screen time spent watching Jaegers punch Kaiju.  That's (mostly) not a knock on the pacing, but rather an observation that there can never be enough time spent watching Jaegers punching Kaiju.

2.  Several of the Kaiju are legit nightmare fuel.  I'm looking at you, Otachi.

3.  Idris Elba isn't in every scene.  Also, his character's name is Stacker Pentecost.  That's only a negative because now if I ever have a child, boy or girl, I'll have to name it Stacker Pentecost.  Because seriously.

4.  The movie was originally going to feature a Mexican Jaeger named Matador Fury, but it got cut due to time restrictions.  This was absolutely the right call, but we still missed out on seeing a giant robot named Matador Fury.

5.  On the same note, the movie's lore is chock-full of Jaegers and Kaiju with awesome names, and we don't get to see most of them in action.

6.  The Australian pilot is a douche bag for no apparent reason other than the script called for the hero to have a rival.

7.  Charlie Day's J.J. Abrams impression was so convincing that I can't picture the real J.J. Abrams anymore.  Though that's probably for the best.

8.  Gipsy Danger has a secret hidden weapon that can one-shot Kaiju, but doesn't open with it.  That makes as much sense as Iron Man not opening with his super-wrist laser in Iron Man 2.

9.  This movie will be considered a flop because it lost in its opening weekend to Despicable Me 2 (an OK film) and Grown Ups F*cking 2.

10.  Seriously, America?!  Grown Ups 2?!  Adam Sandler has made some mildly funny movies in the past, but his last good one was almost 20 years ago.  And even his best work isn't good enough to justify the kind of forgiveness that he has been shown by the American public.  If you saw the trailer for Grown Ups 2 and thought that it looked worth your money, then I will hold you responsible when we end up in the dystopian future of Idiocracy.

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